I grew up on a Saskatchewan farm during the 1950s and 60s. Yes it’s true. My parents operated a small farm that included grain production, cattle, milk cows, chickens, and pigs situated on a vast prairie landscape. All of which means my daily life consisted of diverse layers. Of course, I went to school. But what I remember most from my childhood happened before and after school hours. There was the constant cycle of farm chores that my parents needed me to get done. And there was also play - a generous and ongoing invitation from the Saskatchewan landscape to enjoy its every nuance.
Fast forward to today and I see a striking shift in family dynamics. In contrast to my childhood, where parents relied on their children to help manage the household, today’s parents often find themselves navigating a different landscape. With fewer demands for assistance at home, children are left with unscheduled time before and after school - a precious commodity that can easily be squandered on screens or lost in the shuffle of modern life.
In my experience with students, I’ve observed a prevailing trend: busy families scrambling to fill their children’s calendars with extracurricular activities. Now don’t get me wrong. Of course, I understand the benefits of connecting youngsters with a variety of activities. At the same time, I am concerned about the impact on children whose schedules are filled to the maximum. Not to mention the toll over-scheduling can have on parents’ health and wellbeing.
Maybe it’s time to consider moving away from the current pursuit of busyness. Because when children have less on their schedules, they reap benefits in three key areas: 1. Down time, 2. Free play, and 3. Family connections. When parents have less running around, they have more time to care for themselves and that’s an important prerequisite before they can take care of their children. What do we want - busyness or balance?
Not long ago, when I asked one of my students about his downtime, he indicated that his family followed the motto of “Work hard, play hard”. I said I could see the appeal of such a motto. But when I asked him if he actually “played hard” after all the “working hard”, his silence and the furrow in his forehead told me a lot about what was going on. The “playing hard” never happened. Only “working hard”. And I suspect that down time rarely took place.
As a vital element for healthy personal development, free play fosters creativity, problem solving skills, and social interaction. When children miss out on free play - when they're constantly directed by schedules and adult expectations - they miss out on the chance to develop and explore their own interests that they’ll eventually carry into adulthood and shape their futures.
Furthermore, we cannot overlook how meaningful family connections are vital for children’s development. Unfortunately, a calendar filled with non-stop activities can create a sense of disconnection, where family interactions are replaced by hurried transitions from one commitment to another. Down time for children and parents nurtures their heart, mind, body, and soul, contributing to well-rounded and fulfilling lives.
In our fast-paced society, the space between busyness and balance can feel enormous. Finding balance can seem like an elusive goal. Yet, prioritizing unscheduled time is essential. It nurtures healthy physical and mental development, fosters life skills, and strengthens familial bonds. Creating space for unstructured time is as vital as any structured activity.
Ultimately - creating balanced lifestyles for children and parents isn’t something that happens by accident. Investing in our quality of life requires thoughtful reflection and commitment. It requires intentionally cultivating environments where children and parents can truly thrive and flourish. In a world that often values busyness over balance, we must ask ourselves: what kind of life are we truly building?
