Have you ever experienced an uncomfortable moment when a music student says something inappropriate? Sometimes? Here and there? For music teachers, these moments can be unsettling, especially if you’re caught off guard or unsure how to respond. Whether it’s a rude remark, an off-colour joke, or an insensitive comment, knowing how to handle these situations with professionalism and care is essential for maintaining a safe and respectful learning environment.
Here are a few tips -
1. Stay Calm
When a student says something inappropriate, the immediate reaction might be shock, irritation, or discomfort. Take a breath. Your calm response will set the tone for how the situation unfolds. Overreacting can escalate the moment, while under-reacting can seem like tacit approval.
2. Consider the Context and Intent
Is this a young student echoing something they don't fully understand? A teenager testing boundaries? Or an older student knowingly making an inappropriate remark? The way you respond should take into account the student’s age, maturity, and intent behind the comment.
For young children, inappropriate language may be linked to imitation or a lack of awareness. Teens might be testing authority or trying to be funny, not realizing the impact of their words. With adults, there may be a need for a more direct boundary-setting conversation.
3. Respond Thoughtfully
If the comment clearly crosses a line—whether it's racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise offensive—it’s important to name it. You might say:
“I’m not comfortable with that kind of language.”
“That’s not something we say here.”
“I know you may not have meant harm, but let’s keep this space respectful for everyone.”
I keep these phrases in the back of my mind. Always ready to use because I know by having words that work, words that are chosen carefully, music teachers communicate the values of our studio or classroom: safety, respect, and inclusivity.
4. Model the Behaviour You Expect
Your response should demonstrate the kind of tone and conduct you expect from your students. Keep your language respectful. Avoid sarcasm or shaming. Make sure you have eye contact with your student. Use the moment as a gentle but clear teaching opportunity, especially with younger students.
5. Follow Up If Needed
If the comment was especially serious—or if it happens more than once—a follow-up conversation may be necessary. Depending on the age of the student, this might involve:
* A phone call or email to parents.
* A more formal meeting to discuss expectations.
* A reminder of your studio’s code of conduct.
Documentation can be helpful in these cases. Keep a brief written record of what was said, how you responded, and any follow-up actions taken.
6. Take Care of Yourself
Encounters involving inappropriate language can be emotionally draining. If a student’s comment affects you personally—especially if it touches on your identity or lived experience—take time afterward to process your feelings. Talk with a trusted colleague or mentor if you need support. Remember, you are allowed to have boundaries, and you deserve to feel safe in your own teaching space.
At Teach Music 21C, we believe that music learning should happen in a space rooted in respect, curiosity, and human dignity. Handling inappropriate comments with clarity and compassion helps preserve that space—and offers a powerful example for your students of how to navigate the world with empathy and integrity.
