I think it’s safe to say that music teachers value the process of asking questions as a great way to build student engagement, independence, and understanding. Asking questions can shift lessons from teacher ownership to student discovery and yet - it’s not as simple as all that. Sometimes music teachers might hesitate with asking questions. Not because we don’t believe in questions - because we do.
We hesitate because we’re worried about what students will say. Especially when we ask questions about how students’ practicing turned out and the student replies that they didn’t practice at all. Or they say everything was harder than ever to tackle, or nothing on the homework sheet was easy to do. Answers like those can make teachers feel uncomfortable and worried about asking questions.

At Home - During students’ weeks at home, they will - in all likelihood - experience an entire spectrum of musical successes and obstacles. Some weeks will go well. Some weeks come with seemingly endless conflicts. So it’s important for me to remember all of that belongs to them. It doesn’t belong to me their teacher. What students do at home is much more complicated than how well I teach or who I am as a person.
When students tell me they’ve had a difficult week, the best response I can give is to understand where they’re coming from and be grateful they feel comfortable enough to share that with me. I know what it’s like when teachers don’t want to hear about any irregularities to practicing. When teachers ask questions to make students uncomfortable. That’s not the kind of environment I want my students to experience.
I want students to know that I come prepared for whatever they bring. When they indicate they’ve not practiced, I respond with “Where would you like to get started”. When everything has been hard to do, I share my understanding, “I know what you’re saying”. When nothing was easy, I’m ready with, “That’s a tough one. Maybe we should just start with some deep breathing”. Nodding my head along with eye contact can provide a sensitive message.

Inherited Reactions - A challenge music teachers often face is that we grew up in environments where many teachers asked questions about practicing in order to verify student diligence, not to explore thinking or gather relevant information. Questions were frequently asked as an opportunity for students to confirm that they’d followed instructions to the letter. When students indicated they were able to complete the teacher’s instructions, everyone could celebrate. However when students indicated being unable to complete the teacher’s instruction, teachers often responded with less than empathetic tones. Most likely, shame and disappointment figured highly in the teacher’s reaction. The question “How did your practicing turn out?” didn't feel like curiosity. It felt like inspection.
That’s why I like to keep in mind when a student says, “I didn’t practice,” that statement is the beginning of a conversation, not the end of progress. When they say, “Nothing was easy,” they’re offering insight into their experience. When they say, “It was all too hard,” they reveal something valuable about their own journey.
Alternatives - Here are some must-have statements music teachers can use to respond with empathy: “Tell me what got in the way”. “What would you like from me?” “Show me what felt hardest”. “If you had five minutes today, where would you start?”
Notice how the tone shifts. These simple statements help us in strengthening our partnerships. Students who feel safe telling the truth about their practice are far more likely to grow than students who feel they must protect themselves from teacher’s disappointment or rebuke. Honesty gives us something to work with. When we respond with genuine steadiness, we teach students that difficulty is discussable. Effort can be recalibrated. Setbacks are workable.

The Goal - In the long run, asking questions isn’t about ensuring that students report perfection week after week. The point of asking questions is to create an environment where students can speak honestly about their process—and trust that we’ll help them move forward from wherever they are.
Asking questions is a tool for exploring many directions. Today’s students benefit when music teachers ask questions as invitations rather than tests. When answers—correct, partial, or uncertain—are treated as information, music teachers can get things moving. When music teachers are willing to ask questions - and wait, and empathize, and understand - we create a remarkable environment where students experience the spectrum of musical celebrations and setbacks. It’s an extraordinary space that provides the backdrop for students to deepen their musical connections and repeatedly get well-deserved boosts of confidence in who they are.
How do you feel about asking questions?
Are there certain questions you avoid? Why do you think that’s so?
What does this article shed light on in your teaching?
I'm always hoping music teachers like you will share this blog with colleagues who might appreciate reading it. Please feel free to pass it along.
If this exploration of Asking Questions & Fear has got you thinking, I’d love to hear from you. Click HERE to send me an email message and keep the conversation going.
