I think something music teachers can all support is the importance of developing solid, respectful relationships with our students. Because without a foundation of trust and honesty, we may not get very far in helping our students explore their own musical journey. So - how can music teachers tell if we’re developing solid, respectful relationships with our students? Is it smiling faces? Students who respond to our questions with the correct answers? Here are two things to watch for.
1. Empower our students’ voices. Music teachers can create respectful learning spaces by inviting students to take ownership. Instead of being the one who always circles mistakes or points out the bars that need work, the teacher hands the pencil to the student — literally and figuratively. Like with my student Jeremy’s example. I appreciate how Jeremy shines when I ask him to tell me about where he's successful and what he’s worried about or where he needs help before he plays the next piece. It’s such a simple process that empowers his critical thinking.
By encouraging students to name what feels secure AND insecure, music teachers can shift the lesson from telling students what's going on, to students reflecting and making decisions. Doing so means they’re not exposed or judged; they’re taking charge. And teaching becomes less about teachers demonstrating how smart we are and more about creating a space where students learn that their thinking matters. Safe, respectful teaching means that everything doesn't always need to come from the teacher.
2. Students show us when trust is present. When students trust the relationship, they allow themselves to be seen as who they are. They’re not afraid to ask questions like my student Jasmine, who started nearly every lesson with a question. She’d pull out her notebook or her repertoire folder and say, “Dr. Thompson, I have a question about…?” And so it would unfold. Over time, I came to understand that it was important for Jasmine to resolve aspects that felt insecure or unsolvable on her own. And she trusted me enough to start with questions. When students trust their music teachers, they engage because they sense the teacher is genuinely there to provide help.
That means watching for moments when students aren’t sure what to do. Maybe they hesitate. Or their eyes dart to a corner in the room. Or there’s a distinct pause going on. Positive relationships in music lessons aren’t measured by how pleasant the room feels or how smoothly the lesson flows. They reveal themselves in subtler moments — when a student hesitates, risks sounding unsure, or admits they don’t understand. Take for example something I observed in my student Jeremy who often responded with “I don’t know” to questions I asked. What Jeremy needed from me started with friendliness, but definitely needed to be more than that. He needed me to be patient and to exercise my willingness to stay with him - to continue the conversation - even when the lesson became messy or slow.
Meaningful relationships don’t happen by accident. They grow when teachers notice how students respond to challenge, how they recover from mistakes, and how freely they communicate. These responses offer valuable information — not just about the student’s motivation or ability, but about how safe the learning environment truly feels.
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